This is a real adds from russian newspapers, translated into English, enjoy them

Wanted:
• Looking for a woman who will strap me once a week. E-mail me.
• A freelance journalist, Olympic poet from Moscow would like to meet Russian giants to write a nice essay about them.
• Looking for a man who will paint my dreams, main attention should be paid to colours. I’ll consider any offers.
• I’ve invented a unique bicycle engine. Looking for a mechanical engineer, draughtsman and sponsor to develop my unique invention.
• A donation of $2000 required for a Moscow engineer who invented a synthesizer of reality. Vadim.
more:
http://sobralio.net/node/187