(Humor)President Ahmadinejad of Iran has sent a letter to George Bush in order to "ease tensions." Following is an anonymous humorist's rendering of the content of this letter (modified and enhanced by yours truly - Ami Isseroff
To: His Excellency, George Bush, president of the Great Satan, puppet of Zionists
Fr: His Excelency, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, President of peaceful Islamic Republic of IranRe: Recent tensions
Sorry it's been so long. It hardly seems like 26 years since we held 52 American spies hostage for 444 days. Well, enough nostalgia.
Listen, I have some new ideas for how to end the tensions over our little nuclear energy project, and your crusade to let the Zionists take over the Muslim world.
I had a brainstorming session with the Guardian Council, and we came up with a lot of great solutions. But I know you're busy putting down a Republican rebellion and trying to pull your approval rating out of
the toilet (LOL), so I'll just give you our top ten proposals for easing tensions.
10) Germany declares that the Holocaust never happened. Put the Israeli Zionists on boats and send them back to Europe. Turn Israel into a goat ranch.
9) Pat Robertson studies at Qom and becomes an Ayat Allah
8) USA apologizes for troubling Iran with the spies at the US embassy and pays indemnsity to Iran for guarding embassy spies.
7) USA women wear burqas
6) (You'll like this one for sure) Death penalty for homosexuality in the USA.
5) Wipe Israel off the face of the map. Replace with goat ranch.
4) U.S. buys Iranian oil. I make threatening statements causing uncertainty in petroleum markets. We use the windfall profits to pay Russia to help us make nuclear devices, and to pay China to stop U.N.
sanctions. U.S. continues to buy Iranian oil.
3) Get IAEA and U.N. to adopt `Don't ask, don't tell' policy regarding uranium enrichment.
2) Iran tests our peaceful nuclear technology out on Israel. After the radiation level returns to normal, turn Israel into an Islamic Republic.
1) U.S. joins global Muslim Caliphate, ensuring peace and bountiful supplies of enriched uranium for all of Allah's people.
Feel free to choose more than one solution.
I know you have a lot on your plate ó what with the threat of Nancy Pelosi becoming Speaker of the House ó but try to get back to me quickly so we can get implementation on a fast track.
Yours in Peace (Salam Aleikum warahmatulahi), Mahmoud
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Replies: 1 Comment
To be honest, this dosen't sound to far off from what he would really say... :D
Asian-Ashkenazi, Monday, May 22nd
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