I offer a modest comedy treat in honor of the Sukkoth holiday. Different US Presidents have left many legacies that have become embedded in the foundations of American culture. George Washington provided his apocryphal cherry tree. Monroe offered his doctrine. Lincoln gave Americans the Gettysburg address, Roosevelt provided "We have nothing to fear but fear itself."
However, the legacy of one president must stand apart and above them all. More wonderful than that of Washington. More fascinating than that of Lincoln. More enduring than that of Roosevelt. For, with respect, those other legacies, while they are valuable and edifying, are B*O*R*I*N*G.
This column is dedicated to a great Republican, a great American, and an even greater comedian and bigot. Ladies and gentlemen. I give you the one, the only, Richard M. Nixon. He was the only President so far to have left a truly enjoyable multimedia comedy legacy, when he thoughtfully taped all his White house sessions. With his supporting crew of aides - Haldeman and Erlichman and Colson, he created a lasting and unequalled achievement in American black comedy. Jerry Seinfeld and his crew had nothing on this guy.
Nixon has another distinction. He is the only President known to have conducted a systematic purge of Jews from the United States government, somewhat analogous to the ones done in certain other countries. Those who think that the Nixon administration helped Israel in the Yom Kippur War
out of an abiding love for the Jewish people, had better think again. Timothy Noah provides an extensive account of an exciting episode in Nixon's love affair
with the Jews.
It began when the Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS in what follows) noted that a tiny drop in unemployment figures was a statistical quirk. Nixon was furious. He wanted this "achievement" attributed to his administration. Unfortunately for people of the Mosaic persuasion, the person responsible for telling the truth about unemployment was named Harold Goldstein. Some of the comedy dialogue follows:
Nixon: Well, listen, are they all Jews over there?
Colson: Every one of them. Well, a couple of exceptions.
Nixon: See my point?
Colson: You know goddamn well they're out to kill us.
Nixon: Now, point: [Fred] Malek is not Jewish.
Nixon: All right, I want a look at any sensitive areas around where Jews are involved, Bob. See, the Jews are all through the government, and we have got to get in those areas. We've got to get a man in charge who is not Jewish to control the Jewish ... do you understand?
Haldeman: I sure do.
Nixon: The government is full of Jews. Second, most Jews are disloyal. You know what I mean? You have a [White House Counsel Leonard] Garment and a [National Security Adviser Henry] Kissinger and, frankly, a [White House speechwriter William] Safire, and, by God, they're exceptions. But Bob, generally speaking, you can't trust the bastards. They turn on you. Am I wrong or right?
Haldeman: Their whole orientation is against you. In this administration, anyway. And they are smart. They have the ability to do what they want to do--which--is to hurt us.
Nixon: One other thing I want to know. Colson made an interesting study of the BLS crew. He found out of the 21óyou remember he said last timeó16 were Democrats. No, he told me in the car, 16 were registered Democrats, one was a registered Republican [inaudible] well, there may have been 23. And four were Declined to States. Now that doesn't surprise me in BLS. The point that he did not get into that I want to know, Bob, how many were Jews? Out of the 23 in the BLS, would you get me that?
Haldeman: [White House deputy assistant] Alex [Butterfield] is getting it.
Nixon: There's a Jewish cabal, you know, running through this, working with people like [Federal Reserve Chairman Arthur F.] Burns and the rest. And they all--they all only talk to Jews. Now, but there it is. But there's the BLS staff. Now how the hell do you ever expect us to get anything from that staff, the raw data, let alone what the poor guys have to say [inaudible] that isn't gonna be loaded against us? You understand?
Too bad Americans don't have Nixon to kick around any more.* He could have created enough material for a black comedy version of West Wing.
The "Israel Lobby" book. has nothing new to say. It must've been plagiarized from the White house tapes.
*Guide to younger Americans and foreigners - When Nixon lost an election, he gave a famous speech in which he said, "You won't have Nixon to kick around any more." He didn't keep his promise. He ran for President and won. You can't trust politicians to keep promises.
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Replies: 3 Comments
You say Nixon "onducted a systematic purge of Jews," yet the only evidence you offer is a conversation in which he expresses a general dislike/mistrust of Jews. Have you ever heard of so much as a rumor that a single Jew was fired from the government during the Nixon presidency?
As for Nixon's support of Israel during the YK war, I'd rather have someone do the right thing for the wrong reason than the wrong thing for the right reasons. DYK that almost all of Euro countries wouldn't let us fly over their airspace during the emergency airlift?
superjoel, Tuesday, October 16th
You are right.
quop, Monday, October 15th
Nixon was right. Just look at the 75% Jewish Left Wing Dems supporting the likes of people like Jimmy Carter and Jessie Hymietown Jackson.
From the Rosenbergs to Schumer and Feinstein. All enemies of America.
Dennis D, Tuesday, October 2nd
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